12 February, 2007

A New Website to Waste Your Time On

During some recent internet wanderings I came across this, and particularly enjoyed Mr. Blankenship's myriad notes to self.

Here are some of my favorites:

Note to Self : Now that he is slightly old and definitively crazy, convince Mel Gibson to make a 4th installment of the existing Mad Max Trilogy, then use your newfound friendship with the actor/director to be cast as post-post-apocalypse-surviving extra in said film.

Note to self: Choreograph office dances to the entirety of the new Justin Timberlake album. Test your glass desk for max weight distribution load. Rig lights underneath the desk. Disco.

Note to self: Through either research or consultation of black magic, determine exactly what famed popstar Meatloaf wouldn't do for love. Also, determine exactly what way the Backstreet Boys wanted it that way.

Note to self: Next time you're traveling solo via elevator, remove the overhead light fixture and find out if there's really a door to the elevator roof, like in all the movies. Explore.

Note to self: It's time to kick it up a notch.

Note to self: The next time someone says "turn that frown upside down," hang them from a chainlink fence by the elastic of their recently outstretched underwear and inform them that their view should be all smiles now. Resist smiling at this point, as it would ruin the specific purpose of the entire exercise.

Note to self: Update your websites. It might be the only reason people like you.

Note to self: Build a medieval catapult. Always refer to it as a trebuchet, just to sound elitist.

Note to self: Write a poem about making out. Title it "Better Than Cigarettes," because honestly... you believe it.

Note to self: Three words: stairwell pole vaulting.

Note to self: Take a poll of various Taco Bell employees to find out if they too think it would be appropriate to refer to their workforce as "The Border Patrol.”

Note to self: 99.4% of men on Earth should not have long hair. Groom yourself accordingly.

Note to self: Give in to the realization that you will, henceforth, analyze every person on every flight you take for the rest of your life, wondering, if you crash and are stranded on a tropical island full of unexplained phenomenon, who would be the leader?

Note to self: Learn to parallel park at full speed stuntman-style.

Note to self: Try and think of any viable reasons to ever visit/re-visit the following states: Florida, Alabama, North Dakota, Kansas, and/or West Virginia. Fail miserably.

Note to self: Build a zeppelin.

5 comments:

Tim & Sara said...

I particularly liked the "turn that frown upside down" one and in honor of it, would like to add one:

Note to self: Whenever someone tries to comfort you with the words, "where God guides, God provides," beat and rob them mercilessly and then say, "Good point! Hey, and it rhymes." Kick.

Daniel said...

I love his site - it's one of my daily reads. I'm a big fan of what is essentially his Adobe Illustrator sketchbook, Prom Night Fist Fight.

The dude sweats creativity, taking photographs, playing guitar, etc.

Seems like his site is catching on...

kerri said...

I laughed out-loud in the library to the "learn to parallel park full speed stuntman style"

Alexis said...

Actually, Dan, I think I found this through you, I bookmarked it right away then couldn't remember where I saw it. So thanks! Cool stuff.

francine said...

Hey now - I can think of several viable reasons to visit/re-visit Florida. Kansas, on the other hand...

Just kidding. Sort of. :)

 

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