Close Encounters of the Bizarre, Amusing, and Awkward Kind: A Prelude

So, about a week and a half ago, some of us traveled down to Split (a city down the coast a ways) for a few days. We experienced a lot of things, but to be honest, the trip seemed to start even before we boarded the boat…

After a delightful afternoon of ping-pong and general romping about, the team headed back home on the bus. I needed to stop by Pete and John’s apartment to pick up some sleeping bags, and they weren’t going to be home, so I got the keys from Pete. As the bus rolled along, Marni and I found ourselves in an engrossing conversation (the subject of which I can’t recall). In the back of my mind, there was a gentle, nagging reminder that I shouldn’t forget to get off the bus early to go to the guys’ apartment.

Somehow, some way, I remember thinking, “Oh, maybe it’s the next stop. Yeah, the next time the bus stops I should probably get up and see if I need to get off there… or maybe one or two more stops…” This was all lightning fast and very fuzzy, and at the very same time I saw that the bus was actually stopping right then. And that the door up front was open but the one right by me in back wasn’t. So, some kind of panic reaction went off in my mind, and I bolted out of my seat, skidded down the aisle as fast as I could, and leapt out of the door mere milliseconds before it would have caught my shirt in closing. Mid-way between the bus and the pavement I also remember thinking, “No. This is not the stop I wanted to get off at. It’s definitely way too early.” Taylor and Pete waved hesitantly, looking stunned, amused, and concerned. I didn’t look at anyone else’s face. Everything in me willed the bus to get out of sight as quickly as possible. So embarrassing. I had a good 5 blocks to really reflect on my own ditziness. And then after I got the sleeping bags, I had another 20 minutes while walking home for mild-mannered grumbling about the heat and the time and how I didn’t really need the extra exercise I’d unwittingly opted for.

After packing I met up with Tim, Sara, and Brian to head to the boat. As we were walking, I was trying to explain to them what/why/how re: the whole jumping off the bus thing. Prone to dramatic gesturing as I am, at one point I smacked into a free-standing bakery sign on the sidewalk with my backpack. Alarmed, I whipped around, and, seeing a stout, nearly life sized but still 2-dimensional, wooden, mustachioed baker on the sign, I apologized. Aloud. My friends laughed at me. I laughed at me.

It never ends. I do stuff like this all the time. Get ready Mom, you get me all summer long!